soy milk: my unabridged story

I recall many years long past that I had once sampled a taste of the beverage in question at the residence of a now-old friend. Driven by my curious nature, I delved into the fridge and emptied a portion of the nearly-odourless liquid into a glass to satisfy my eagerness. As the creamy white substance fell onto the tip of my tongue, I felt a horrible feeling assail my senses, swiftly inducing a transient state of hellish sensations. I felt horribly sickened by its repulsively abominable taste–so much so that I felt an explosion of relentless constraint swelling up from inside me that was only then countered by my hardened tenacity. A violent surge of indescribable faggotry ravaged my sanity and compelled me to immediately expel the remaining liquid from my mouth; however, due to my tremendous willpower I was able to restrain myself from doing so as the ubiquitous pressure of social norms caused my instincts to reconsider the potentially discourteous act that would have taken place. It would have been very rude, it seems, and I would have felt like quite the cum-checkered fagstain, if I am not already one now.

Whilst it would have been preferable for me to spend a day in the company of angry transvestites wrapped in silky undergarments and large penis-shaped straw hats, I realised that no such alternative was readily available at the time. Gasping for breath after the terrifying ordeal, I inhaled the pneumatic particles of oxygen around me to calm my nerves whilst my body convulsed and made gestures which symbolised the agony brought upon me by the foulness of this detestable white substance. The strain placed upon my fickle sense of taste at the time caused my mind to sink into a temporary lapse of seemingly eternal torment which left a mental scar so deep that I can still so somewhat vividly recall the incident. From that day onwards, each and every time I laid eyes on the putrid liquid I could feel the pleas of my degrading sanity screaming for mercy as to never again been subjected to such a horrifying act born from the essence of a calamity condensed and given form in that of a creamy white fluid.

the etymology of “buns”

Firstly, I am not a homosexual, despite the implications of the following text–I felt that the grave importance of this statement took precedence over the actual content as to thoroughly dispel (and not accentuate) any and all possible convictions regarding my prominently questionable behaviour. Quite often, my demeanour has subjected me to the most shallow perspectives of others who would overlook the inconspicuous qualities of my personality, giving the impression that I would be predisposed to acts of homosexuality with other fine gents men–but I can assure you that this is not the case. By exercising my concern in this respect, it should be noted that you–the reader–are at least entitled to know the truth behind my style of conduct.

Secondly, “buns” in this context refers to the specific suffix which I employ when addressing others. e.g. espybuns

My reasons for perpetuating such an odd usage of the word are unknown. Perhaps at the time, I desired a little something that exuded with vibes of eccentricity, thereby setting me apart from the numerous archetypal characteristics of people–something that results from the inherent drawbacks of text-based communication, but that would be a superficial explanation for the sake of convenience. What can I say? I’m a lazy person!

The ironic significance of triviality.

e3 (sucked), games, anime, etc

Got done watching the conferences two nights ago on a live stream, and there is absolutely no better place to express my earnest disdain for E3 08–why does it feel like one of the biggest disappointments in VG history? The revelations of this year have been unprecedented in the field of utmost dissatisfaction in which one can only commend the efforts of the audience who had to painstakingly undergo this abhorrence. I’d say that any commotion caused as a result of this shitfest was well deserved, as it doesn’t get anymore facepalm-worthy than this.

First to take the stage were the people at Microsoft who, despite lacking the “experienced” (lol) development teams of the highly prolific gaming conglomerate Nintendo, fared better overall (further elaboration is imminent). It began with some footage of Gears of War 2, though the enthusiasm that ensued did not properly reflect the next item unveiled; the subsequent disclosure of their FABULOUS NEW XBOX LIVE AVATARS as if it were something revolutionary caused me to stop the stream and hit the hay. And before you condemn me with any prejudicial doubts, let me cite the undisputed failure that Nintendo brought to the table in their conference. It’s a tad discouraging, but unsurprising given that their recent attitudes towards their products can only herald something resentful in regards to actual gamers. Taking the post-E3 results into account, I can only conclude that it is no time for anyone in the gaming industry to be liberal with their merchandise.

.

[12:47] <~Delerium> portal was fun
[12:47] <Espy> yea just like your mother
[12:47] <~Delerium> no
[12:48] <~Delerium> espy you can just burn in hell
[12:48] <Espy> why does it have to be in hell
[12:48] <Espy> i’d rather burn in your asshole
[12:48] <~Delerium> that’s gross you’re gross

this would make a decent welcome page

I have some confessions to make.

<tl;dr>You know, it always bugged me as to how nothing I ever wrote about on here oozed with even an ounce of my personality. One day I am going to read through this and cringe while I attempt to swallow the pretentious mass of fail which constitutes this entire blog. My initial goal was to compile an archive of entries aimed at expressing a side of me that I typically do not show in a more casual context, but the result was an outlandish change of character that seemed completely incongruous when compared with my usual self, though I suppose that is another facet of me that I am not familiar with.

You learn something new everyday, don’t you? I really should have just kept this entry private or something, but everybody has strange thoughts that run through their mind, and the integrity of such a statement is not up for debate. I’d say this particular one occurred to me on a whim.

I tend to swear a lot, and I do mean a lot. By mentioning this, I will promptly deny any ostentatious vibes that may be felt from reading this as I am not trying to glorify my presence as a self-proclaimed LORD OF SWEARING, but in truth I am a self-branded quasi-pottymouth; however, I don’t spout profanities in an excessively vulgar tone as it’s merely habitual and idiosyncratic of my character. I’m generally soft-spoken and speaking loudly usually causes me to exert additional effort; the more attentive are likely to catch onto my constant cursing, but for the most part it probably goes unnoticed because it’s not characterised by the usual sharpness associated with such words, which in all honesty is linguistics in art form. For me to add “fuck” into nearly every sentence that comes from my mouth is a common practice, and for you to say otherwise just means that you haven’t spoken to me enough out of a text-based setting. If sentences were a food, curse words would be a spice.</tl;dr>

I’m a bit empathatic so I generally tone myself down a lot in these posts, which would otherwise be filled with jokes regarding anything that the human mind could bear to extend its thoughts to. Anything. I’m a stone-cold muthafucka that drops racial slurs like a champ and laughs at the misfortune of others. In a sense, this place houses my leash.

The best part is that I am a nerd–the purest, most accurate definition of the word. The worst part is that I am losing my ability to laugh normally; in its stead are expressionless utterances of “lol” and “rofl”, but is that really so bad?

Never lie to yourself, homies FUCK YEAR

final fantasy tactics a2

This post is about random FFTA2 stuff and is not a review.

I took a break after I clocked it, and am now picking it back up to max out my characters. FFTA2 (and its predecessor) may not possess the means or integrity required to supersede its original PS1 counterpart–either because the plot isn’t as compelling, or it’s been stylised with an aesthetic appeal aimed at a younger audience–but it does hold its own as a fantastic game… and anybody with half a brain who has played both can concede that it doesn’t dare try to surpass FFT on any grounds. In short: I loved it…

… But the slow pacing was a bit of a turn off, though it’s still a great game regardless. Also, people who bitched about the laws in the first game may be a bit discouraged to know that they’re still in session, but encouraged to know that they’ve been nerfed consequence-wise. No more will your characters go to jail for breaking the notorious laws of the FFTA universe, but instead be punished by disabling the ability to revive K.O’d units in combat, in addition to the temporary buff granted upon you for the course of the battle. Extra incentive to adhere to the laws is also present in the form of a small inventory bonus at the end of battles, though the rewards are meager at best and become fairly useless when the auction house comes into play. Anyway…

Quintessential FF Cheese = anything Ultima-related

macross frontier & da capo ii impressions

Well, we’re roughly at the halfway mark! Curse my previous doubts regarding the season’s content as they’ve been completely rendered incredulous. See, I had initially predicted that the line-up’s threshold was effectively barred from being anywhere near as gratifying as it is now, which in hindsight is absolutely way off track. Though I had originally planned to write a post at a much latter date, things are becoming increasingly more enjoyable as the weeks go by to the extent where it has precipitated a need for an entry possessing some critical relevance to the current anime at hand. I’ll be covering my impressions of Macross Frontier and Da Capo II S2 thus far.

omg an anime post

Top three four anime of the season? Being my usual indecisive self has resulted in two titles currently battling it out for #1 place, and as you’d suspect, they are none other than Code Geass R2 and Macross Frontier, with Da Capo II S2 and Vampire Knight  trailing further behind. Nababi no Ou has admittedly lost its appeal, but in its defence I can only concede that it was too early for any meaningful plot developments to occur. I am inclined to believe that while the series is on an “on hold” status, I can’t make any promises to myself; to be frank though, I suspect that the genre just isn’t cutting it for me anymore. If the raw demographic is any sort of qualified indication as to why my interests are dwindling, then perhaps my age just doesn’t properly reflect the target audience anymore… but we all know that’s a load of shit, because you’re never too old for anything.

To keep things brief, I’ll be concise about my thoughts regarding Macross Frontier first.

mass effect & ff6a: meaningful ways to pass the time

Mass Effect for PC is awesome; Final Fantasy VI Advance for GBA is also awesome.

I apologise for the outburst of meaningless rantings in my previous post, but I needed something to fill in that large void created from a time-frame of inactivity, and what better way than to prate on about the oppressive nature that plagues the outside world in a loquacious manner that just continually speaks for itself with an abundant amount of superfluous content… Sorry, got a little carried away there, but I couldn’t stop myself. Time for gaming talk.

As noted, I’ve been a tad preoccupied with my gaming sessions lately, though what of the anime season which I had previously discredited? Delving into every title that airs wouldn’t be the greatest of ideas, as there is only so much I can tolerate before it begins to undermine my sanity; however, I did indeed take the liberty to sample numerous series, and it has trumped my expectations given the initial… less-than-enthusiastic impressions. Incidentally, Macross Frontier and Kurenai (two series which I had planned to watch long ago) have piled up as a result of me procrastinating continuously, thus I am now considering a lengthy marathon. Back on the topic of Mass Effect and FFVIA: to spare both parties from another terrible review, I’ll briefly go over some key points instead.

Let’s begin with Mass Effect; the quintessential example of what a gifted team of developers can accomplish, given the time and resources.

Shepard.

fffffffffffff

Can you hear the echo reverberating throughout the numerous e-walls enclosing this small, secluded room? In its stead, I am hoping that something relatively more meaningful will come up, so sit back and enjoy whatever it is that you folks have taken a liking to. In the meantime, hope that my recovery from this traumatised state will make its appearance. I’m not coughing up blood, but I might as well be.

Fate is an impasse. A call of distress which indicated my foreordained doom has confronted me, like a train which is destined to move only on the tracks it is binded to. The malevolent evils of the outside world have caught up, and while I live to tell the tale, a mental scar which haunts me ever so dreadfully has been firmly carved into my psyche. I now fear for my own wellbeing, because the world beyond my doorstep is a terrifying piece of land which stretches far and wide; its bright light alludes the presence of an omniscient hell rivaled only by the darkest depths of the netherworld: an infernal pit of pandemonium, if ye will. It is a place where people like me do not wish to tread.

My time is nigh, as I have already taken the initial steps towards the path of oblivion. My personal Gehenna beckoned me to leave my cloister with its ever-beguiling promises of enjoyment; that which is fear given physical form had shown itself unto me, and its sneering presence could be felt all too well, grimacing at my impending state of vegetation. If I was religious, I would have prayed; if I was misanthropic, I would have rejoiced at yet another life to depart from this world. How is it that I have survived? Or is that even an overstatement in itself? Am I even all right?

Though I have returned in a perfect physical state, my mental status has grown all the more questionable, and far beyond salvation. My dying wish is to be extricated from the abhorrent knowledge I have of the pernicious world which lies ahead, and knowing only that ignorance is bliss.

fiction and reality

As a zealous anime fan, have you ever questioned the strange influence that it has on you? Normally, the bulk of the enthusiasts’ behaviour is primarily indicative of their earnest love for the Japanese arts, but it’s still amusing to sit back and contemplate about how anime can effect your thinking on an extremist’s level. For example: if one were to take everything to heart.

The following consists of various hypothetical situations in direct relation to anime from a realistic perspective, though it’s only real-life females that’ll end up disfigured in the minds of many (rofl owned); our beloved anime girls shall remain unblemished. I love anime and that’ll never change, though sometimes I find myself entranced in some very interesting thoughts. Ya know, just the “what if?”, I guess.

:3

Firstly, let’s start with the more psychological matters, onii-chan!

The Imouto Appeal

Do you know what anime does to you? Very few would’ve ever considered the prospect that from the inauguration of Japanese art would mark the beginning of a very peculiar string of behaviour (in some cases, slightly bereft of morality), which could warrant a plethora of social ramifications should one act upon their darkest of desires. For many, its dominating powers of influence tends to induce a very misleading sentiment: it makes them believe that having a younger sister is one of the most exquisite delights ever, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth! For those who’d bust a nut over the sheer thought of having an imouto, a careful reminder is that looking at it in a fictional context doesn’t justify its greatness in reality; begin by asking those who do in fact play the role of an older sibling to their younger sister (I don’t).

“SHE’S FUCKING ANNOYING AS SHIT”

But wait… who cares?! Imouto in anime are different, because they aren’t ours, and they aren’t real. It only takes one to utter the magical word “onii-chan” in an affectionate manner to sway the hearts of many: do not deny it! You love them about as much as I do, and nothing, absolutely nothing can possibly be said in your defence to justify it otherwise.

The conclusion: they are too good for real females to become.